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Berni - ceo, Christianityworks

Speaking Without Accusing

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James 1:19 My dear brothers and sisters, always be more willing to listen than to speak. Keep control of your anger. Anger does not help you live the way God wants.

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Sometimes you’ll be having a conversation with someone, and what they’re saying to you, on the surface of it, is good advice. And yet, it’s uncomfortable because it feels as though they’re accusing you, blaming you.

You’ve had those sorts of conversations too, right? It’s like there’s an underlying anger in the other person’s heart and when that spills over into the conversation, when we feel blamed, when we feel as though they’re accusing us … it doesn’t matter how sound their perspective, their advice, their solution may be … we just won’t accept it.

If only they understood where I’m coming from. If only they understood why I did what I did. If only they’d shut up long enough to listen to me!

Now, let’s put the shoe on the other foot – when we’re the ones being angry, being judgemental, pointing the finger of blame at the other person. It’s not pretty, is it? It doesn’t express the love of God which we hope is in us.

James 1:19 My dear brothers and sisters, always be more willing to listen than to speak. Keep control of your anger. Anger does not help you live the way God wants.

James was Jesus’ brother, so where do you think he picked up that little pearl of wisdom?

The key to having those difficult conversations, which sometimes we do indeed need to have, is to keep our anger under control.

Allowing anger to spill over into accusatory language is never going to yield the results that we want. Much better to be more willing to listen than to speak. Much better to find non-judgemental language to get your point across.

Keep control of your anger.

That’s God’s Word. Fresh … for you … today.

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Comments



Marius

Thank you Berni for sharing the wisdom of God in a very effective way. You help God’s people take note and understand what God is saying. And make a huge difference in many peoples’ lives, including mine. God bless you and the ministry of Christianityworks.