It seems that these days, so many people are so angry. Maybe we’re working too hard.  Maybe the pressure’s getting to us.  Whatever it is – people’s anger has this habit of bubbling to the surface and then lashing out.

We live in a world saturated with sexuality. Every other billboard. The TV.  Even on the radio.  And the sad “underbelly” of this so-called sexual freedom is that many, many people are living with the shame and the pain of promiscuity.

Seems that these days, it doesn’t matter how hard we try, sexuality is constantly thrust before our eyes and under our noses. Now don’t get me wrong. I have a very simple view about sex. God invented it. It’s good. It’s great.

But the role of our sexuality, apart from the obvious thing of keeping the human race going by bringing babies into the world, is to bring a husband and a wife into a level of intimacy so wonderful that there aren’t enough words to describe how wonderful it is.

But, because sex sells, it’s used in the media to such an extent that you can’t walk down the street without having the image of a barely clad young woman advertising some product on a billboard shoved in front of your face. And it doesn’t seem to matter how carefully we choose the media content we view, we’re still going to see it.

The other night I was watching a documentary about one of the Apollo moon landings back in the early 1970s. And even on that, it turns out that in the checklists strapped to one of the astronauts arms up there on the moon, one of his colleagues had inserted a picture of a naked woman and that was flashed up on the TV screen.

And here’s the thing, with all of this it turns out that in this world where sex is a commodity, what’s happening is that, particularly for men, they’re being placed in a situation where their sexuality is being played for commercial value.

Last week and again this week on the program we’ve been looking at Overcoming Stubborn Sin Once and For All in our lives. And one of the most stubborn sins of all is sexual immorality. Now, what do I mean by that? Well here it is in a nutshell, what I believe that Gods word, the Bible, says about our sexuality, basically this.

That human sexuality is a part of Gods design for humanity and as such, physical intimacy is a beautiful gift from Him. But the only proper expression of His gift is exclusively between one man and one woman who’ve been joined together as husband and wife in the lifelong bond of marriage. And people who continue in sexual immorality outside that plan, whatever its form, will not inherit the Kingdom of God.

Those aren’t my ideas. That is clearly, clearly what God says through, what I believe to be His Word, the Bible.

Now I think that one of the biggest issues in this world today is pornography. So many men are caught up in sexual immorality. They’re married. They want to be faithful to their wives but with the internet, now available 24 x 7 the temptation is simply too great for many.

And so they’re caught up in a cycle of addiction and shame that spirals ever downward. It actually robs them of the beautiful intimacy that God had planned for them with their wives. It substitutes a poor impostor for the real thing.

And do you know what else? Because they’re carrying the burden of hidden shame around in their hearts, it robs them of the power that God has for their lives. The power to make a difference for God in this world. That’s why this particular form of addiction is so insidious.

There was an article recently in a Christian magazine that caught my eye. The article was called The Elephant In Your Pew. Here are some sobering statistics. Over 50% of all men are addicted to pornography. Over 82% of males between the ages of 15 and 28 have intentionally and deliberately sought out pornography in the last 3 months. 82%.

A man who’s campaigning to help men addicted to pornography, Pastor Steve Davies, looks at it this way. He says, “We are at war and pornography is satan’s number one weapon against men. To destroy their walk with Christ.”

Scary, isn’t it? So how do we overcome this most stubborn of sins? If you’re a man addicted in the cycle of pornography, how can you overcome it? If you’re a woman who’s living through the pain of her husband’s addiction to pornography, how can you be part of him overcoming it?

They’re tough issues. And perhaps there’s the odd person squirming at this. And maybe you’re tempted right now to turn the radio off. But Gods word speaks into every situation. And this sin is no different.

For the man who’s caught up in this most stubborn of sins, the first thing he needs to understand is this. That Jesus came to set you free from every sin and this sin is no different. Colossians chapter 1, verses 13 and 14.

“He has rescued us from the power of darkness and transferred us into the kingdom of His beloved Son in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins. Anyone who has put their faith in Jesus Christ has been rescued from that power of darkness and transferred into the kingdom of Jesus.”

And this scripture too. Romans chapter 6, verse 14.

“For sin will have no dominion over you since you are not under the law but under grace.”

So here’s the first thing. This man caught up in pornography is entitled to believe that something has happened. That sin no longer has dominion over him and whilst it may take a little while to overcome this addiction, my friend, the power of sin is broken because God has applied His grace to you in this very situation.

This has already been dealt with on the cross of Christ, once and for all. The power of sin has been broken. So instead of approaching this addiction with a sense of failure, you can approach it knowing that the deal is already done. Success is guaranteed. And every time the devil whispers doubt into your heart, my friend, stand on Gods word.

The second thing is getting really practical about what you look at and where your mind wanders. Proverbs chapter 5 is a powerful part of Gods word for anyone caught up in a cycle of pornography addiction. In particular verse 8 says this about seduction.

“Keep your way far from her and do not go near the door of her house.”

It is so easy in this world saturated with sexuality to let one image, one unintended and unfortunate encounter be the trigger for the addiction. Keep away. In other words, don’t put yourself in places where you’re going to be trapped.

And when temptation does come your way, don’t go to the door of her house. In other words, guard your eyes, guard your mind, guard your heart and stay away. Don’t take one step. Don’t go there.

Any man knows that there is a line that he can step over allowing his mind to wander into places where it shouldn’t go. And that wandering ultimately conceives sin. Further, you men who are married, flee. Flee into the arms of your wife. She is the real thing. She is Gods perfect provision for you.

And as I said earlier on the program, Gods plan for exclusive intimacy between one man and one woman who are yoked together for life through thick and thin, is so utterly wonderful. It can never, never be replaced by an impostor like pornography.

1 Corinthians chapter 7, verses 1 to 5, tells husbands and wives, commands them, to be intimate physically with one another. Go on, read it for yourself. It’s all there. It’s Gods plan. 1 Corinthians chapter 7.

Finally, to you men who are addicted to pornography let me say this. And this is going to be perhaps the hardest thing of all. You need to be accountable to your wife, if you’re married, and to other men. It’s time for us to go beyond the shame and look for solutions.

God’s plan is to set men free from this addiction. It is the most stubborn of sins because it’s hidden. Bring it out into the open. Bring it out into the light. And as much pain as it might cause in marriage, that’s the place where healing can begin.

And if you’re a wife, hurt though you may be by this infidelity and adultery, cause that’s what it is, here is my counsel to you. Forgive him and be part of the solution. Love him. Hold him. And the Lord, your God, will use you as His instrument to heal this man whom He has entrusted to you.

Love hurts sometimes. This is one of those times. But the prize, the prize is worth it.

In a world where the advertising industry basically prescribes the formula for success – you’ll be successful if you buy this product, you know – so many people are finding that they just can’t match up to those images of success.  And as a result, so many people are suffering from low self-esteem.

Low self-esteem is a rampant disease in our society. Particularly amongst women. And it’s an interesting thing, whilst the Bible has lots to say about pride and having a level of self-esteem that’s too high. It appears to be almost silent on this thing that nowadays we refer to as low self-esteem.

So what is low self-esteem? To put it quite simply, it’s an unhealthily low sense of self-worth. “I’m no good. I can’t do anything. I’m useless. I’m stupid. I’m worthless. I can’t stand in a group of people and have a conversation because they’ll think my ideas are silly.”

All those statements are the thoughts that constantly, constantly plague people with low self-esteem. And the impact of them is that the people who suffer from this unhealthily low sense of self-worth struggle to have any meaningful relationships. They don’t have any joy or peace in their lives. They’re touchy. Their feelings are easily hurt.

It’s like a prison this low self-esteem thing and for many, it seems to be a life sentence.

Now, not a single one of us wouldn’t agree that anyone that suffers from low self-esteem is missing out on a full and healthy life. They’re in a sense missing the point of life, at least the point that God meant for them. Which is a full and abundant and rich life. And if that’s the case then there’s only one name for low self-esteem and it’s this. Sin.

I don’t mean to make things worse but sin, as it’s defined in the New Testament, literally means “to miss the mark”. Or as we might say today, “to miss the whole point of life”. And wandering around with this incredibly low sense of self-worth misses the whole point doesn’t it?

We all know people with low self-esteem. We know how debilitating it is. We can see how it robs them of a rich and meaningful relationship. But how many of us would have thought of it as sin?

Now please, I don’t want to make things worse. But let’s call it for what it is. It’s falling short of Gods plan and there’s a good reason to do that. Because while sin is all too common, it is not normal.

Jesus came to set us free from sin, all sin and all its effects. Not just that we might have forgiveness for sins past, that’s fantastic and we need that, but that we would also be free from them from today on and for all eternity.

But the problem with people who have low self-esteem is they don’t, for one minute, imagine that their lives could be any different. They don’t, for a single minute, believe that Jesus came to set them free from the pain and the anguish of their low self-esteem.

But what if, well, what if He did come to do exactly that? Would they want a part of it? I have no doubt that right now there are some people listening, around the world, to this program and some of them are suffering desperately from low self-esteem. A deep and painful belief that they just aren’t good enough. And what’s more, that they never will be.

Maybe that’s you. Maybe that’s someone who’s close to you. Well, I come to you today with some good news. Some great news. Jesus came to set you free from this sin. Stubborn though it may be. Persistent though it may be. As much as anyone who suffers from low self-esteem imagines that they will never be free of it. Jesus came to set you free.

Here’s how I know without the shadow of any doubt that this is true. At the beginning of His public ministry, Jesus stood up in the synagogue to tell people about himself. He chose to quote from the Old Testament prophet Isaiah, using chapter 61. Now let me read the opening four verses of that chapter. This is what Jesus quoted about himself. He said,

“The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me because the Lord has anointed me, He has sent me to bring good news to the oppressed. To bind up the broken-hearted. To proclaim liberty to the captives. Release to the prisoners. To proclaim the year of the Lord’s favour and the day of vengeance of our God.”

“To comfort all who mourn. To provide for those who mourn in Zion. To give them a garland instead of ashes. The oil of gladness instead of mourning. The mantle of praise instead of a faint spirit. They will be called oaks of righteousness, the planting of the Lord to display His glory. They shall build up the ancient ruins, they shall raise up the former devastations. They shall repair the ruined cities, the devastations of many generations.”

Tell me that those who suffer from this debilitating sin of low self-esteem, tell me they arent’ included in that. Gladness instead of mourning. Gods favour, Gods comfort for all who mourn. Binding up the broken-hearted. Liberty for the captives. Release for the prisoners.

The key, THE KEY to being free from low self-esteem is simply to know this:

“That you and I, we are fearfully and wonderfully made by God.”

That comes from Psalm 139, verse 14. Handcrafted by God in His image. See most of us have spent so long, so very long, staring at our reflection in the distorted mirror of this world that we’ve developed this, I don’t know, this distorted self-image.

We look at people who are more successful, more beautiful, more intelligent. Everything “more” than we could ever be. And we watch the ads on television where they paint pictures of these beautiful people and what success means. And we look at our lives and we think, “My life doesn’t look like that, my life doesn’t match up with that. Argh, I’ll never be that good.”

And you see, this is what fuels so much of the low self-esteem that’s happening in our society. Particularly, let me say, for young women, for young girls.

But what if, what if we are indeed fearfully and wonderfully handcrafted by God Himself? Made in His image. What if the image of the world that is reflective of us is distorted and wrong? What if the only image we should have is not a self-image from the distorted world but a faith image that comes from what God says about who we are?

The question is, who or what are we going to believe? The world’s distortion or Gods truth. Well? What are you going to believe about yourself?

The problem is that someone with low self-esteem may well be able to catch a glimpse of that but the feelings of complete inadequacy just come crashing over them day by day, minute by minute. Swamping any budding confidence or faith that they might have developed in Gods truth.

That’s why if you’re someone who’s struggling with low self-esteem, if this is a stubborn sin that you just can’t overcome in your life, I want to give you something today that I believe, in fact, I know God will use to heal you from it and it’s devastating effects.

It’s a short simple passage of scripture that even I can memorise, even you can memorise. You can carry it around in your heart every moment of every day. Here it is. Ephesians chapter 2, verse 10. It says:

“We are Gods workmanship created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared beforehand for us to do.”

If you’re someone who’s struggled with this all your life, with low self-esteem, I believe that God is going to use His word to help you overcome it once and for all. Cause every time your distorted image is reflected back to you from the world, through the lies and deceptions, you can take this scripture verse and say it to yourself and choose to believe God over the world.

Every time your feelings are hurt. Every time you feel that gut-wrenching pain of rejection and fear. Take this verse, listen to God and believe Him instead of the world. Memorise it for:

“We are Gods workmanship created in Christ Jesus to do good works that God prepared beforehand for us to do.”

Own it. Let Gods word do its work in you. Now I know that you’ll be set free from this stubborn sin of low self-esteem. Our value is not what the world says about us. Our value is what God says about us. And this is what God says.

“You are God’s workmanship. You have been created in Christ Jesus for good works that God prepared beforehand for you to do.”

Selfishness is something we mostly see in other people, not in ourselves.  But if the truth be known – we’re all prone to being selfish – and that’s a condition that robs us of relationships, of satisfaction and of peace.  Turns out that the maxim that it’s all about me – doesn’t actually work.

Selfishness is a word that we’re all too familiar with. But I wonder how often we stop to think about what it actually means?

Self-ishness. It’s about our tendency to put ourselves first. Our needs. Our plans. Our reputations. Before other people.

Problem is, we notice when other people are being selfish. We notice when they put themselves before us and their own interests before ours. But we rarely notice when the shoe’s on the other foot. We rarely notice when it’s us being selfish.

In fact for most of my life I never once considered myself to be selfish when the reality was that self was all I was interested in. How about you? How often do you think of yourself being selfish as opposed to other people being selfish toward you?

Well, that’s why selfishness is such an insidious sin. It rears its ugly head all too often without us ever even really noticing that we’re being selfish. And this putting of self above and before other people, it takes so many different forms. Whether my interests are more important to me than your interests. And the easiest thing in the world is to put mine before yours and that, that’s what we call selfishness.

Over the last week and a half or so on the program we’ve been chatting about Overcoming Stubborn Sin Once And For All. And I know there are a few people who might squirm at this little word that we use, sin. I used to. I thought of it as being an outdated, irrelevant, judgemental, religious term that, frankly, belonged in the lexicon of those doddering old people I saw wandering in and out of those places called Church.

And that, that is a deception that the devil was happy for me to live with for so many years. But sin, it’s a very simple concept. It’s falling short of all the good and wonderful things that God has planned for our lives. It’s missing the whole point and the point is that God wants us to enjoy Him and to worship Him and to glorify Him with our lives.

That brings such a great source of delight and wonder and peace and joy to us. It’s the way things were meant to be, now and for all eternity. Through every up, every down, every mountain top experience and every trial and temptation and hurt that this world has to offer.

And so those sins that are particularly stubborn, those that keep coming back again and again and again, they are satan’s messengers sent to torment us. To try a rob us of the abundant life that God has planned for us. And this one, selfishness, is one that so many people suffer from.

It’s one that used to be right up there on the top of my hit list too. I couldn’t see what was wrong with it either. I worked hard. I applied myself. And I’m this “outcome”-focused person who drives hard at life to achieve what I set out to achieve. My agenda. My success. My way or the highway.

So what’s wrong with getting my way? If other people want to get their way, well they should be like me otherwise though, right? That’s the world’s template for success. Climb over whoever you have to climb over. Roll over the top of whoever you have to roll over. Crash through whoever you have to crash through to get to where you’re going.

And here’s how it changed for me. There were two parts. One had to do with my heart, the other with my hands. In other words, one part of change had to do with my motivation and the other part had to do with my practical doing. How I lived that out.

I was always after greatness. I wanted people to recognise who I was, to recognise my achievements. And I, like most of the rest of the world, thought that what that was about was me getting my way and other people standing back and going, “Wow, isn’t he great?” See, that’s a deception. It doesn’t work that way.

Jesus, in what theologians call the Great Denunciation, Matthew chapter 23. It’s where He rips into the religious leaders of the day. People who were selfish and ripped off those who were in their charge. Right in the middle of His vehement argument against their hypocrisy and their selfishness, this is what He says. Matthew chapter 23, verses 11 and 12. Jesus says:

“The greatest among you will be your servant. All who is all themselves will be humbled and all who humble themselves will be exalted.”

I thought about that a lot and the truth of that first sentence started to really do its work in my heart. God has that habit you know. He takes the truth in His Word and His Word is so powerful that all of a sudden it takes root in your heart and God starts to use it and work through it. Listen to it again. Matthew chapter 23, verse 11:

“The greatest among you will be your servant.”

I thought about it. The greatest people in my life, the ones whom I truly value and honour and respect, are the ones who have served me more than all the others.

A man called Graham. He was a Colonel in the army when I was a young Captain. Together Graham and I and another man called Mark we left the army and formed a consulting firm in the Information Technology industry. Now Graham is not only intellectually one of the smartest people I know but he has a deep wisdom about life, about dealing with other people, about all sorts of things.

Now he’s twenty years my senior and over a period of seventeen years when we worked together in this consulting firm, he was my mentor, he was my teacher. He taught me how to listen. He taught me how to not roll over the top of people. He taught me how to influence instead of control. He taught me any number of things.

And many of those, in fact, come out in these radio programs, day after day, all these years on. He served me for seventeen years. Even when I was young and precocious, even when I didn’t deserve it. Ask me who are amongst the greatest people in my life and he’s right up there.

Once I figured out the deep truth of what Jesus is saying here, “The greatest among you will be your servant”, my motivations changed. And then, then it was time to live that out, minute by minute, relationship by relationship, interaction by interaction. And here’s what I discovered. When I took my selfishness out of the equation; when I no longer had to win every time and get my way every time, all of a sudden life became much easier. James chapter 3, verse 16, says this:

“For where there is envy and selfish ambition there will also be disorder and wickedness of every kind.”

And that’s absolutely right. Take away the selfishness and instead of disorder and wickedness, what you get nine times out of ten is peace. Once I learned to collaborate instead of obliterate, wow, what a great way to live life.

And you know why, ultimately, selfishness has become one of the easiest of my stubborn sins to give up? You know why? Because the rewards are so great and they’re pretty much instant. Stop the selfishness and conflict reduces. Peace increases. Relationships improve. And after a while, it’s easy to get addicted to those rewards.

I wonder if it isn’t what God planned all along. Have a listen to a bit more from James chapter 3.

“For where there is envy and selfish ambition there will also be disorder and wickedness of every kind. But the wisdom from above is first pure then peaceable then gentle then willing to yield, full of mercy and good fruits without a trace of partiality or hypocrisy and a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace for those who make peace.”

When we give up our selfishness, what we instead end up doing is sowing peace. And Gods promise here, through His word, is that when we sow peace the harvest and the reward that we get is peace. Giving up selfishness really works!

So many people are wallowing in the effects of one stubborn sin or another in their lives and they want to be free of its effects – but actually, they don’t want to do what they have to do, to be rid of it.  In effect, sometimes we want a foot in both camps.  Problem is – that doesn’t work.