Episode 1. Different Folks – Different Strokes
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We’re all different aren’t we – different strengths and different weaknesses. And sometimes, it’s those weaknesses that cause us a lot of pain – it’s kind of self-inflicted. But is …
We’re all different aren’t we – different strengths and different weaknesses. And sometimes, it’s those weaknesses that cause us a lot of pain – it’s kind of self-inflicted. But is there a way of overcoming those weaknesses and getting rid of a lot of the pain?
Over the last couple of weeks on the program we’ve been chatting about eliminating a lot of the pain that we experience from our lives. Now, as we’ve seen, there’s some pain that we just can’t control: the death of a loved one, losing our job, one of our children is suffering. Those things happen to all of us from time to time and we go through grief, sometimes of anger, all sorts of different things.
We can’t stop those things from happening and we’re all going to experience pain through those external factors from time to time. But much of the pain we experience in life, 90% I suggest, comes from the fact that we’re carrying around baggage. Most commonly, we just don’t grow up in certain areas of our lives.
We’ve been looking at this passage over the last few weeks, from James chapter 1 beginning at verse 2. It says:
My brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of any kind, consider it nothing but joy because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance and let the endurance have it’s full effect so you may be mature and complete and lacking in nothing.
God wants us to grow through our trials. He wants us to be mature and complete and lacking in nothing. And when we don’t we’re immature in a certain area of our lives and that’s what causes a lot of the grief, a lot of the pain.
But we’re all different. I’m different, maybe I’m mature in this are of my life. For you it’s an entirely different area of your life. And so rather than talking in vague generalities, over this week and next week, we’re going to get down to the specifics for this personality type. And to help me do that I am joined again by my good friend and co-author, Keith Henry.
Berni: Keith, welcome to the program.
Keith: Hello Berni.
Berni: Now Keith, your particular gig just recap for us, your gig in life is Personality Types, right? Just give us a quick ‘heads up’ on that.
Keith: Right. I’ve regularly been burned with certain people with how they communicate with each other, how they get on with each other. I just wanted to show them how different we all are and really to come always from their perspective but to consider others and to think about why they do things the way they do.
Berni: And that often doesn’t land on us, does it? Our default position is ‘normal is the way I see things’.
Keith: Exactly. And then I avoid things and then I dominate things or whatever I do, I do it from my perspective which is quite selfish.
Berni: And so, in the Bible, Romans chapter 12 actually talks about the personality types.
Keith: It does. God really, He knows this, He made us, He created us and He talks about that and gives a list of the seven personality types in Romans 12.
Berni: Ok. So, there’s Leaders and Teachers and all sorts of different things.
Keith: There is, that’s right. And we’ve expanded it a little bit into nine because in a couple of areas we can get slight differences that make a difference.
Berni: Ok. So whenever you’ve been on air with me, we inevitably get this huge response from listeners. Why do you think that is? By the way they normally say nice things.
Keith: I think it is because in Romans 12 in the Message version it says:
We find our meaning and our function when find out who we are and what we’ve supposed to be doing in life.
And this is what everybody wants, even if they’re not Christian or whatever they are or not, they want to know who am I? and what should I do with my life? And as soon as anybody starts talking about that they tune in, especially if there are some answers there.
Berni: Yes, because I guess a lot of people drift through life. I know I did for a lot of the early part of my life. Not really knowing what their gig is in life.
Keith: And if you don’t you’re going to be frustrated. You’re not going to be happy because you’re searching. And if you’re searching constantly, you know, “what should I do?” It’s not just about what I should do, say in a career or how I should live my life, it’s all about relationships. You get married and you start finding out, ooh this person isn’t like me. You know, at the start they wanted to impress.
Berni: Ain’t that the truth!
Keith: And we have to learn how to handle that.
Berni: There’s a lot of tension about that. I guess that’s what has been the theme of the program over the past couple of weeks. When we live in our immaturities, and we have specific immaturity (we’ll be looking at this over the next couple of weeks) when we live in immaturity that’s what causes us pain and a lot of people are experiencing pain, are they not, because of their immaturity?
Keith: Yes, but the sad thing is, they don’t know what to do about it even if they recognise ‘Oh I’ve got a confrontation here, how do I handle it?’ They only know the position to avoid or challenge it. But they don’t know how the other person’s going to react.
Berni: So, is it right for me to say, each of the nine different personality types that we’ve looked together at in the book that you and I have written, ‘Personality GPS’, each of those personality types has a specific area in their life where they’re prone to immaturity? Would that be a fair thing to say?
Keith: Definitely, yes. There’s the highs and lows in our lives. There’s the average, which we are, but then, when we come under stress we go to a real low and that can blow up in somebodies face. But there’s a high and that’s a habit. See we develop habits and we if we develop a habit of confrontation or a habit of something like that, we‘ve got to break that and you’ve got to know first of all how to do that.
Berni: OK can you quickly run me through the nine different personality types, just briefly.
Keith: Firstly, there is the Achiever. These are the people who, as the name says, like to do things. They like to achieve something in life. Secondly there’s the Social Encourager and as the name says, they like to have fun. They enjoy themselves. Thirdly there’s the Teacher. Now the Teacher doesn’t mean they go and teach. What they are is very friendly. They get beside people so they can actually show people and take time to be their friends. Fourthly there’s the Carer and the Carer, as the name says, is the person from the heart. They really care for others, have deep feelings.
Fifthly there’s the Giver and the Giver is a helper. They actually come from the heart again but they want to help you do things. Next there’s from the Mind people there’s the Server which we break up into two. The Practical Server and Theoretical Server. The Theoretical Server is more from the mind about studying and things like that. And the Practical Server is more into doing things. And finally in the Will section, there’s the Prophet. These people are black and white as the Prophet is. And finally is the Leader who really gets stuck into doing things.
Berni: Ok. So let’s just give us one example. Lets finish with the Leader because that’s what I am. What’s the natural immaturity that the leader has. What’s my low point naturally.
Keith: The low point of the Leader is that they can get burnt out and if they don’t get their way and things go wrong they sort of go away and hide. They detach from the world. It’s like they try and get themselves together so they can go out, retreat and then go out and get stuck back into it again.
Berni: I guess, because Leaders like to crash through things, I can get very frustrated naturally if I can’t crash through things and then I do, I have that sense I have to withdraw. And the danger is that I withdraw for too long.
Keith: That’s right, and you cut everybody off because you go back into yourself to get your own strength back and have to realign yourself and then you can come out again.
Berni: Over the next two weeks, this week and next week, we’re going to look at specifically each personality type – what their low point is and what their high point is. Because I think that’s the key to transformation. If we understand our weakness and if we know how we can naturally achieve our best, what that best looks like and what it is, my hunch is, that’s where we need to be.
Keith: We certainly do. It can really change your life.
Berni: Ok, so Keith, if you were to point to me and say, “Very quickly, Leader, what’s the high point, what should I be shooting for”.
Keith: The Leader should be using their strength to help others. They actually use what they’ve got in a non-selfish way.
Berni: Doing for other people instead of myself. I’m not sure I’m going to enjoy this. But we are going to catch up again tomorrow. Thanks so much for joining me today.